Oldmails

Perfect Relationship

2006-02-04T05:03:00.000-08:00

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

80 year old Virgin

2006-01-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

Miss Alice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"

Deck of Cards

2006-01-27T07:01:00.000-08:00

A DECK OF CARDS

It was quiet that day, the guns, the mortars and the land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.
The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?
The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are ot allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
"You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.
"The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
"The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
"The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
"The Five is for the five virgins that were ten but only five of them were glorified.
"The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
"The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.
"The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives - the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the earth.
"The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
"The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
"The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.
"The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
"The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
"When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
"There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week, 52 weeks in a year.
"The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.
"Each suit has thirteen cards; there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter
"So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, may I borrow that deck of cards?"

Husband and Wife

2006-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Yourboss called to tell me that youhad quit your job today and that was the laststraw.
Last week, you camehome and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked yourfavorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You
came home and ate intwo minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.You don'ttell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife

Husband's Response!!!

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cryfrom what you've been.I watch sports so much to try to drown out yourconstant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut offall of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!"My mother raised me to not say anything
if you can't sayanything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.I
went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it.I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.So when I discovered that I had hit thelotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S.I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla.I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Differences..

2006-01-20T10:36:00.000-08:00

1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

More Love Quotes

2006-01-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

Love Quotes

2006-01-12T11:05:00.000-08:00

"Take time to appreciate what you have now."

2006-01-12T10:39:00.000-08:00

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the remaining of the gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier.
When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself," It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.

Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."
Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys.
While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest.
He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who this doll was for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"
The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear." Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who he wanted to give this doll to. "It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."
My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me." I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked again, just in case if you have enough money?" "Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money. The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me." "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose." "You know, my mummy loves white rose."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because thezyoung lady would not be able to get out of the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.
The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

The Big Wheel

2005-12-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two.
Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings,but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed
the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove
off to find a job. The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whomever would listen that I was
willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half
of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and
again every morning before I could go home. One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There
was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered. I made a deal with the local service station. In
exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did
for him to do the tires I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants
and soon they would be too far gone to repair. On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The
regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and knee led in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box:
It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour.There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.
As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....
THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."

God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine. My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to at least four people you want to be blessed .
This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Amen.
Commercially the holiday season started right after Labor Day.
Spritually, it should be in our hearts all year long. God bless all of you. You have no idea how blessed I am just to know you.

Love you!

3 things !

2005-12-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -Time, Words, Opportunity
Three things in life that may never be lost -Peace, Hope, Honesty
Three things in life that are most valuable -Love, Self-confidence, Friends
Three things in life that are never certain -Dreams, Success, Fortune
Three things that make a man -Hard work, Sincerity, Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a man -Wine, Pride, Anger
Three things that are truly constant -Father, Son, Holy Ghost

Guts, balls, and friends

2005-12-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

The difference between "guts" and "balls":

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say,
"You're next."

The difference between "friendships:"

Friendship among women: A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's ten best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men: A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's ten best friends. Eight of them say he slept over. Two claim he's still there .

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Comments:

2005-11-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way.
They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you.
And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you.
It's inevitable.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds.
When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person,
you're headed for deeper problems.

In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.
You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away.
And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it.

Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.
So what should you do the next time someone betrays you?

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS.
Even though the other person may be at fault,
even though the other person wronged you,
you are still responsible for your own feelings.
In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings.
You choose them.

For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic."
One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again.
The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.
As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck.
You're a helpless victim.
But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope.
You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do.
Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.
It's difficult to do, but it's possible.
The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.
After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years,
Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill.
He asked Mill to read it.
Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire.
In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed.
Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said,
"That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go,my friend! Do not feel bad."
As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window.
Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune."
And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."
Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time.
He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.
After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript?
Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript.
All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started.
And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much.
You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't.
Those are your only two choices.
Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up.
It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well.
As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well.
So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.
After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once.
He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.
The farmer asked his neighbours to help him with the shovelling. To work they went.
As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened.
Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule.
Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and step up.
Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up.
In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd.
That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.
Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it.
It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong.
Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behaviour is okay.
And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook.
He's still responsible for his misbehaviour.
Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook.
It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviours.
It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.
Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you.
If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people.
You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action: Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you.
If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness.
Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?
Am I happier holding on to it?
Do I sleep better?
Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"
If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.
Actually decide to let it go. Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Period!

Room for Friends

2005-11-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box ofsand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided,"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, yourhealth, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still befull.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job,your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

THE BRICK

2005-11-16T07:36:00.000-08:00

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

Diary of true Heroine

2005-11-16T07:34:00.000-08:00

A Diary Entry of a True Heroine who saved 1600 lives.... Four times in a single day. Read till end.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all

my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

DEAR DIARY .. DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffleboarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino . did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and cha mpagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today . . .four times !!!!

A Warm Supper

2005-10-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

A young couple, married just a couple weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.

So the husband inquires, "What's wrong Honey?"

"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast but I can't cook or clean."

The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care hat you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."

So, off they went to the bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen.

"What's wrong now, Sweetie?"

"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."

Again, the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"

So, off they went to the bedroom again.

That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride sliding down the banister of the stairs naked. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister, again.

After the third trip the husband asks, "What the heck are you doing honey?"

To which the new bride replies,
"Warming up your supper!"

Pick Your Dessert

2005-10-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which one would you choose?

Pick your dessert, and then look to see what Psychiatrists think about you!

(Sorry you can only pick one)

- Angel Food Cake
- Brownies
- Lemon Meringue
- Vanilla cake with Chocolate Icing
- Strawberry Short
Cake
- Chocolate on Chocolate
- Ice Cream
- Carrot Cake

NO. You can't change your mind once you scroll down! So think carefully what your choice will be! OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you! Scroll down below...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANGEL FOOD CAKE.. Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need
an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

BROWNIES... You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of under dogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers
flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

LEMON MERINGUE... Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to
walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone
enjoys being around you, but you are a pra ctical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE.... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be
overly emotional at times.

CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE.. Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to
have cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

ICE CREAM... You like sports, whether it is baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but
you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

CARROT CAKE.... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with y ou. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at
times. You have many loyal friends.

More Funnies

2005-10-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold the light high over her mommy so he could
see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently Kathleen did as she was asked. Her mother Heidi pushed and pushed, and
after a little while Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen
for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack his ass again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a
password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter 'PENIS'.

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa Singh bought a new mobile. He called everone from his phone book and said" My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310 now it is 6600!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Teacher: Why majority of south Indians are dark?
Larry: Bcoz majority of the south Indians are watching Sun TV, Surya TV or Udaya TV!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What did Biscuit manufaturer Britania write to his Girl Friend?
Dear Marie,
Yesterday our meeting was Truly NICE. Though I was in 50-50 mind to see you. And you were playing HIDE & SEEK with me. If I had not met you, probably my LITTLE HEART would have KRAKJACKED.Yours BOURBON!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa Singh: Yaar tu aaj Doctor ke paas jaane wala tha Kya hua?
Banta Singh: Aaj meri tabiyat thick nahi hai, kal jaonga....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Princess of Amen Ra

2005-10-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

Of all tales of the supernatural, this one is perhaps the best documented, the most disturbing and the most difficult to explain...

The Princess of Amen-Ra lived in 1050 B.C. When she died, she was laid in an ornate wooden coffin and buried deep in a vault at Luxor, on the banks of the Nile.

In the 1880s, four rich young Englishmen visiting the excavations at Luxor were invited to buy an exquisitely fashioned mummy
case containing the remains of the Princess of Amen-Ra. They drew lots. The man who won paid several thousand pounds and had the coffin taken to
his hotel. A few hours later, he was seen walking out towar ds the desert. He never returned.

The next day, one of the remaining three men was shot by an Egyptian servant accidentally. His arm was so severely wounded it had to be amputated.

The third man in the foursome found on his return home that the bank holding his entire savings had failed.

The fourth man suffered a severe illness, lost his job and was reduced to selling matches in the street.

Nevertheless, the coffin reached England (causing other misfortunes along the way), where it was bought by a London businessman.
After three of his family members had been injured in a road accident and his house damaged by fire, the businessman donated it to the British Museum.

As the coffin was being unloaded from a wagon in the museum courtyard, the wagon suddenly went into reverse and trapped a
passer-by. Then as the casket was being lifted up the stairs by two workmen, one fell and broke his leg. The other, apparently in perfect health, died
unaccountably two days later.

Once the Princess was installed in the Egyptian Room, trouble really started. Museum's night watchmen frequently heard frantic
hammering and sobbing from the coffin. Other exhibits in the room were also often hurled about at night. One watchman d ied on duty; causing the
other watchmen wanting to quit. Cleaners refused to go near the Princess, too. When a visitor derisively flicked a dust cloth at the face painted on
the coffin, his child died of measles soon afterwards.

Finally, the authorities had the mummy carried down to the basement, figuring it could not do any harm down there, while leaving the lid of the coffin
on display. (The lid of the coffin (Exhibit No. 22542) is still there!) Within a week, one of the helpers was seriously ill, and the supervisor of the move was found dead on his desk.

By now, the papers had heard of it. A journalist photographer took a picture of the mummy case and when he developed it, the painting on the coffin
was of a horrifying, human face. The photographer was said to have gone home then, locked his bedroom door and shot himself.

Soon afterwards, the museum sold the mummy to a private collector. After continual misfortun e (and deaths), the owner banished it to the attic.

A well-known authority on th e occult, Madame Helena Blavatsky, visited the premises. Upon entry, she was sized with a
shivering fit and searched the house for the source of "an evil influence of incredible intensity".
She finally came to the attic and found the mummy case. "Can you exorcise this evil spirit?" asked the owner. "There is no such
thing as exorcism. Evil remains evil forever. Nothing can be done about it. I implore you to get rid of this evil as soon as possible."

But no British museum would take the mummy; the fact that almost 20 people had met with misfortune, disaster or death from handling the casket, in
barely 10 years, was now well known.

Eventually, a hardheaded American archaeologist (who dismissed the happenings as quirks of circumstance), paid a handsome price for
the mummy and arranged for its removal to New York. In April of 1912, the new owner escorted its treasure aboard a sparkling, new White Star liner
about to make its maiden voyage to New York.

Because the reputation of the mummy was well known, the owner, who was a chess player named William T. Stead, was afraid that
his cargo would not be loaded. Therefore, he secretly arranged for the mummy to be hidden under the body of a new Renault automobile, which was
being transported to America on the ship. Stead did not reveal the truth about his cargo to the other passengers until the night before the next disaster.

On the night of April 14, amid scenes of unprecedented horror, the Princess of Amen-Ra accompanied 1,500 passengers to their deaths at the bottom of the Atlantic.

***** The name of the ship was Titanic. *****

Simple Friends VS. Real Friends

2005-10-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is
over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship
until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend hates it when you call
after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps
himself.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for
them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Pass this on to anyone you care about....
if you get it back you have found real friends!

Medical Insurance special !!!

2005-09-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABCHospital.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them 50$.
This happened several weeks in a row.

The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor and then leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house -
I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Hyatt charges 250$, Embassy charges 200$, Le Meridian charges 150$.
We do it here for 50$, and I get that back from Insurance!

How to get Leave

2005-09-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

I urgently needed a few days holiday, but because I never had any leave due to me, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a few days leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Mad" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing ? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "Mad" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"
I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are mad - take a few days off".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her
"...And where are you going?"

(You're going to love this!)

She said "I can't work in the dark !!!!"

A McDonald's love story...

2005-09-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.

Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking: "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.

The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.
There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.
He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites. Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. -
"They were used to sharing everything."

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.
She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.

A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal. The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.

After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.
What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered,
"THE TEETH"

Have a Nice Day

2005-08-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

Life is a gift
Live it...
Enjoy it...
Celebrate it...
And fulfill it.

Strange Heights

2005-07-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

1. What is height of Fashion?

Dhoti with a zip
*************************************************************
2. What is height of Secrecy?

Offering blank visiting cards.
*************************************************************
3. What is height of Activelaziness?

Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
*************************************************************
4. What is height of Laziness?

Adopt a child.
*************************************************************
5. What is height of Craziness?

Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
*************************************************************
6. What is height of Forgetfulness?

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
*************************************************************
7. What is height of Stupidity?

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
*************************************************************
8. What is height of Honesty?

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
*************************************************************
9. What is height of Suicide?

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
*************************************************************
10. What is height of De-hydration?

A cow giving milk powder.
*************************************************************

Amazing Pics

2005-07-29T05:48:00.000-07:00

Grades

2005-07-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the
bed. It was addressed, "Mom."

With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom, It is with great regret and
sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend
because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.

I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice-even with
all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But
it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will
be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood for the whole winter.

He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my
dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone
and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for
all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
John can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to
know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that's in my desk center drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Couple Diaries

2005-07-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

WIFE's DIARY

Sunday night thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I
thought he was upset that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong. He said: "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him. He simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say: "I love u, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed
distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with
the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do.

I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HUSBAND's DIARY

Today, Manchester United lost the football match.
DAMN IT..!!

Man Discovers..

2005-07-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

Man discovered WEAPONS and invented HUNTING,
Woman discovered HUNTING and invented FURS.

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT,
Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

Man discovered WOMEN and invented SEX,
Woman discovered SEX and invented HEADACHES.

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Woman discovered MONEY and that's when it all got screwed up!

Some Thoughts

2005-07-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

Can you raed tihs?

2005-07-18T10:40:00.000-07:00

Olny srmat poelpe can.I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig
to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat
ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll
raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Does evil exist? Did God create evil?

2005-07-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

The University professor challenged his students with this question.
"Did God create everything that exists?"
A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked.
"Yes sir", the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything,then God created evil, since evil exists,
and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had
proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"
"Of course", replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"
The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality
the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and
heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460? F) is the total absence of heat;
all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist.
We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light.
Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each
color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate
it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present.
Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's
inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least is does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of
God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.
God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold
that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

Software Maintainance

2005-07-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

A guy goes to the Department of Housing to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "have you been in the service"?

"Yes" he says. "I was in Vietnam for three years"

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment".

The interviewer then asks, "Are you disabled in any way"?

The guy says, "Yes 100%... a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off".

The interviewer tells the guy, "OK, I can hire you right now. The hours are from 9:00am to
5:00pm. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 11:00am."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 9:00am to 5:00pm, then why
do you want me to come in at 11:00am?"

"This is a software maintenance job" the interviewer says. "For the first two hours
we sit around scratching our balls....... no point in you coming in for that."

Humanity

2005-07-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

It was a sports stadium.

Eight Children were standing on the track to
participate in the running
event.

* Ready!

* Steady!

* Bang!!!

With the sound of Toy pistol, all eight girls
started running.

Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one
of the smaller girls
slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she
started crying.

When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped
running, stood for a
while and turned back, they all ran back to the
place where the girl fell
down.

One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl
gently and enquired 'Now
pain must have reduced'.

All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified
her, two of them held the
girl firmly and they all seven joined hands
together and walked together
and reached the winning post.

Officials were shocked.

Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the
stadium.

Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it
had reached the GOD even!

YES. This happened in Hyderabad, recently !

The sport was conducted by National Institute of
Mental Health. All these
special girls had come to participate in this
event and they are spastic
children.

Yes, they were mentally retarded.

What did they teach this world?

Teamwork?

Humanity?

Equality among all?

. . . . . . . . ????

Successful people help others who are slow in
learning so that they are
not left far behind.

THE ART OF MARRIAGE

2005-07-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say
"I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common
objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the
whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the
attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and
demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo
or the wife to have wings of an angel.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each
can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the
beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the
independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is
reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner,
it is being the right partner.

Modern day Poetry

2005-07-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and walls..........these are the robert frosts or Nizzim Ezekiels of today...to the manor born...

A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

Here I sit, Broken hearted
Tried to shit, But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky, You had your chance
I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.

I came here, To shit and stink,
But all I do, Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement:
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!

Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:
We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool.

Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant :
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

5 stages of Drunkenness

2005-07-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

Stage 1 - *SMART* : This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are
SMART.

Stage 2 - *GOOD LOOKING* : This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - *RICH* This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - *BULLET PROOF* You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you areSMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - *INVISIBLE* This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of
your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

Bed Time story

2005-07-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons.We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men? Fifteen of them Saudi Arabians! hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and
fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets ? I mean, the Russians ? are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Q: Good night, Daddy!

Its Only a Earring

2005-07-15T06:52:00.000-07:00

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say,

"So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my car."

IAS one line questions - quite witty !

2005-07-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

Real life IAS i.e. UPSC Exam 1998 Interview Questions

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take
four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples
and
three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one
hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Italian horoscope

2005-07-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Dear friends there are an Italian horoscope given
below. You can find a lot about you by just searching
your own identity in Italian way.

What you have to do is to find your group with the
help of your date of birth.

Date of Birth
Group

01,06,11,16,21,26,31 A1

02,07,12,17,22,27 B2

03,08,13,18,23,28 C3

04,09,14,19,24,29 D4

05,10,15,20,25,30 E5

Group A1

You consider love as the most beautiful thing and you
love to fall in love, but a number of your group
members think that the person they love is not sincere
with them.

You love to be with your friends and you are always
found to be a dutiful friend.

You can hardly control your patients, which is a very
big drawback of your nature.

The Person who is ruling your mind & heart these days
is perfect for you.

Group B2

Your dreams and ambitions are much important for you
and you can do everything to fulfill your dreams. Love
is much valuable in your life but you always search
for someone perfect. You hardly trust someone.

Your friends are really important for you but
normally you hide a lot from them.

You are a deep thinker you always study the negative
view as well as positive.

You can lead a happy life with a person for whom you
care a lot these days.

Group C3

You always prefer mantel decisions more then
emotional ones due to this you don't have a limited
number of friends. You consider life a very beautiful
gift and you love to enjoy its colors. There are a
number of peoples who are your ideals and you loved to
spend a big part of your time with them. You are found
to be a very sincere lover.

You have a perfect control on your emotions but
sometimes your decisions really effect your beloveds.

The person who has just appeared in your mind and you
has decided to forward this mail especially to him/her
is your real and special friend.

Group D4

Your always have goals to achieve and you can do
everything to fulfill the dreams of those who loves
you.

You have a sketch of an ideal in your mind and you
always search for that personality.

Your friends means a lot to you and you can do
everything for the sake of your friend, you a normally
found to be an emotional personality.

You have a very less control on your patients and due
to this sometimes you over react.

The one who sent you this mail & the one to whom you
will send this mail first are your real friends.

Group E5

You are found to be a person who loves to love. You
prefer emotional decision more then mantel decisions.
You consider life just to enjoy; you are the one who
is perfect to call FLURTIES. You love to increase the
list of your friends and beloved?s. You have a number
of dreams but you never work hard to make your dreams
come true which is the biggest drawback in your nature
you take everything much lightly. With in 7 days you
will meet a person whom you have never met before that
is the person ideal for you.

Three Things In Life

2005-07-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

Three Things In Life

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -
Time, Words & Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost -
Peace, Hope & Honesty.

Three things in life that are most valuable -
Love, Self-confidence & Friends

Three things in life that are never certain -
Dreams, Success & Fortune

Three things that make a man -
Hard work, Sincerity & Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a man -
Wine, Pride & Anger

I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today;
to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way.
His love is always with you, His promises are true.
And when you give Him all your cares, you know He'll see you through.

Miscommunication

2005-07-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

Mountain Story

2005-07-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

-----~~~~~-----
MOUNTAIN STORY:
-----~~~~~-----

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams:
"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating,
somewhere in the
mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but
really this is
LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love
in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve
your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all
aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to
it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF
YOU!"

Parable of the Pencil

2005-07-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

-----~~~~~-----
PARABLE OF THE PENCIL:
-----~~~~~-----

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before
putting him into the
box.

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the
pencil, "Before I
send you out into the world. Always remember them and
never forget, and
you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but
only if you allow
yourself to be held in someone's hand."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from
time to time, but
you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you
might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be
what's inside."

"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must
leave your mark.
No matter what the condition, you must continue to
write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and
went into the box
with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you.
Always remember them and
never forget, and you will become the best person you
can be.

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but
only if you allow
yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other
human beings to
access you for the many gifts you possess."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from
time to time, by
going through various problems in life, but you'll
need it to become a
stronger person."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you
might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be
what's on the
inside."

"And Five: On every surface you walk through, you
must leave your mark.
No matter what the situation, you must continue to do
your duties."

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to
know that you are a
special person and only you can fulfill the purpose
to which you were
born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think
that your life is
insignificant and cannot make a change.

Determination

2005-07-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

----~~~~~-----
DETERMINATON:
-----~~~~~-----

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was
inspired by an idea
to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York
with the Long Island.
However bridge building experts throughout the world
thought that this
was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget
the idea. It just
could not be done. It was not practical. It had never
been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his
mind of this bridge.
He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in
his heart that it
could be done. He just had to share the dream with
someone else. After
much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince
his son
Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the
bridge in fact could be
built.

Working together for the first time, the father and
son developed
concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the
obstacles could be
overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and
the headiness of a
wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and
began to build
their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few
months underway a
tragic accident on the site took the life of John
Roebling. Washington
was injured and left with a certain amount of brain
damage, which
resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or
even move.

"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It's foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that
the project should
be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones
who knew how the
bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap
Washington was never
discouraged and still had a burning desire to
complete the bridge and
his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to
some of his friends,
but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on
his bed in his
hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through
the windows, a gentle
breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he
was able to see the
sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a
moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to
give up. Suddenly an
idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and
he decided to make
the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly
developed a code of
communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger,
indicating to her that he
wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used
the same method of
tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It
seemed foolish but
the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions
with his finger on
his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally
completed. Today the
spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory
as a tribute to the
triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his
determination not to be
defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to
the engineers and
their team work, and to their faith in a man who was
considered mad by
half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument
to the love and
devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently
decoded the
messages of her husband and told the engineers what
to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a
never-say-die attitude
that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and
achieves an impossible
goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life,
our hurdles seem
very small in comparison to what many others have to
face. The Brooklyn
Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can
be realized with
determination and persistence, no matter what the
odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with
determination and
persistence.

THE SANDPIPER - GIFT OF JOY

2005-07-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

The Sandpiper - by Robert Peterson

She was six years old when I first met her on the
beach near where I live.
I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four
miles, whenever the
world begins to close in on me. She was building a
sand castle or
something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.
"Hello," she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to
bother with a small
child.

"I'm building," she said.

"I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring.

"Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand."

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my
shoes. A sandpiper glided
by.

"That's a joy," the child said.

"It's a what?"

"It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us
joy."

The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I
muttered to myself,
hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed,
my life seemed
completely out of balance.

"What's your name?" She wouldn't give up.

"Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson."

"Mine's Wendy... I'm six."

"Hi, Wendy." She giggled.

"You're funny," she said.

In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on.
Her musical giggle
followed me.

"Come again, Mr. P," she called. "We'll have another
happy day."

After a few days of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA
meetings, and an
ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I
took my hands out of
the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself,
gathering up my coat.

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me.
The breeze was chilly
but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity
I needed.

"Hello, Mr. P," she said. "Do you want to play?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge
of annoyance.

"I don't know, you say."

"How about charades?" I asked sarcastically.

The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don't
know what that is."

"Then let's just walk."

Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of
her face. "Where do you
live?" I asked.

"Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer
cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter.

"Where do you go to school?" "I don't go to school.
Mommy says we're on
vacation."

She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the
beach, but my mind
was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said
it had been a happy
day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and
agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of
near panic. I was in
no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her
mother on the porch and
felt like demanding she keep her child at home.

"Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy
caught up with me,
"I'd rather be alone today." She seemed unusually
pale and out of breath.

"Why?" she asked.

I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother
died!" and thought, My
God, why was I saying this to a little child?

"Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a bad day."

"Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before
and--oh, go away!"

"Did it hurt?" she inquired.

"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with
myself.

"When she died?"

"Of course it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding,
wrapped up in myself. I
strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the
beach, she wasn't there.
Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I
missed her, I went up to
the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A
drawn looking young
woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

"Hello," I said, "I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your
little girl today and
wondered where she was."

"Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of
you so much. I'm
afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a
nuisance, please, accept
my apologies."

"Not at all -- she's a delightful child." I said,
suddenly realizing that
I meant what I had just said.

"Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had
leukemia. Maybe she didn't
tell you."

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my
breath.

"She loved this beach so when she asked to come, we
couldn't say no. She
seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she
called happy days.
But the last few weeks,! she declined rapidly..." Her
voice faltered, "She
left something for you ... if only I can find it.
Could you wait a moment
while I look?"

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to
say to this lovely
young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with
"MR. P" printed in bold
childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright
crayon hues -- a yellow
beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was
carefully printed:

"A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY"

Tears welled up in my eyes and a heart that had
almost forgotten to love
opened wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm
so sorry, I'm so
sorry, I'm so sorry," I muttered over and over, and
we wept together. The
precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my
study. Six words --
one for each year of her life -- that speak to me of
harmony, courage, and
undemanding love.

A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the
color of sand -- who
taught me the gift of love.

NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert
Peterson. It happened over
20 years ago and the incident changed his life
forever. It serves as a
reminder to all of us that we need to take time to
enjoy living and life
and each other. The price of hating other human
beings is loving oneself
less.

Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of
everyday traumas can make
us lose focus about what is truly important or what
is only a momentary
setback or crisis.

This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra
hug, and by all means,
take a moment...even if it is only ten seconds, to
stop and smell the
roses.

This comes from someone's heart, and is shared with
many and now I share
it with you.

I Wish For You, A Sandpiper!!!