Oldmails

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

Miss Alice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"

A DECK OF CARDS

It was quiet that day, the guns, the mortars and the land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.
The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?
The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are ot allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
"You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.
"The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
"The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
"The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
"The Five is for the five virgins that were ten but only five of them were glorified.
"The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
"The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.
"The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives - the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the earth.
"The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
"The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
"The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.
"The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
"The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
"When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
"There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week, 52 weeks in a year.
"The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.
"Each suit has thirteen cards; there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter
"So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, may I borrow that deck of cards?"

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Yourboss called to tell me that youhad quit your job today and that was the laststraw.
Last week, you camehome and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked yourfavorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You
came home and ate intwo minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.You don'ttell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife

Husband's Response!!!

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cryfrom what you've been.I watch sports so much to try to drown out yourconstant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut offall of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!"My mother raised me to not say anything
if you can't sayanything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.I
went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it.I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.So when I discovered that I had hit thelotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S.I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla.I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the remaining of the gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier.
When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself," It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.

Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."
Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys.
While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest.
He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who this doll was for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"
The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear." Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who he wanted to give this doll to. "It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."
My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me." I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked again, just in case if you have enough money?" "Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money. The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me." "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose." "You know, my mummy loves white rose."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley.


I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because thezyoung lady would not be able to get out of the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.
The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two.
Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings,but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed
the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove
off to find a job. The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whomever would listen that I was
willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half
of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and
again every morning before I could go home. One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There
was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered. I made a deal with the local service station. In
exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did
for him to do the tires I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants
and soon they would be too far gone to repair. On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The
regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and knee led in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box:
It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour.There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.
As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....
THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."

God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine. My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to at least four people you want to be blessed .
This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Amen.
Commercially the holiday season started right after Labor Day.
Spritually, it should be in our hearts all year long. God bless all of you. You have no idea how blessed I am just to know you.

Love you!

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -Time, Words, Opportunity
Three things in life that may never be lost -Peace, Hope, Honesty
Three things in life that are most valuable -Love, Self-confidence, Friends
Three things in life that are never certain -Dreams, Success, Fortune
Three things that make a man -Hard work, Sincerity, Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a man -Wine, Pride, Anger
Three things that are truly constant -Father, Son, Holy Ghost

The difference between "guts" and "balls":

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say,
"You're next."


The difference between "friendships:"


Friendship among women: A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's ten best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men: A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's ten best friends. Eight of them say he slept over. Two claim he's still there .

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way.
They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you.
And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you.
It's inevitable.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds.
When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person,
you're headed for deeper problems.

In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.
You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away.
And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it.

Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.
So what should you do the next time someone betrays you?

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS.
Even though the other person may be at fault,
even though the other person wronged you,
you are still responsible for your own feelings.
In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings.
You choose them.

For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic."
One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again.
The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.
As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck.
You're a helpless victim.
But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope.
You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do.
Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.
It's difficult to do, but it's possible.
The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.
After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years,
Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill.
He asked Mill to read it.
Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire.
In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed.
Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said,
"That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go,my friend! Do not feel bad."
As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window.
Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune."
And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."
Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time.
He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.
After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript?
Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript.
All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started.
And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much.
You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't.
Those are your only two choices.
Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up.
It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well.
As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well.
So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.
After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once.
He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.
The farmer asked his neighbours to help him with the shovelling. To work they went.
As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened.
Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule.
Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and step up.
Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up.
In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd.
That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.
Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it.
It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong.
Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behaviour is okay.
And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook.
He's still responsible for his misbehaviour.
Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook.
It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviours.
It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.
Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you.
If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people.
You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action: Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you.
If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness.
Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?
Am I happier holding on to it?
Do I sleep better?
Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"
If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.
Actually decide to let it go. Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Period!

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box ofsand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided,"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, yourhealth, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still befull.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job,your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

A Diary Entry of a True Heroine who saved 1600 lives.... Four times in a single day. Read till end.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all

my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

DEAR DIARY .. DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffleboarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino . did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and cha mpagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today . . .four times !!!!

A young couple, married just a couple weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.

So the husband inquires, "What's wrong Honey?"

"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast but I can't cook or clean."

The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care hat you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."

So, off they went to the bedroom.

That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen.

"What's wrong now, Sweetie?"

"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."

Again, the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"

So, off they went to the bedroom again.

That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride sliding down the banister of the stairs naked. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister, again.

After the third trip the husband asks, "What the heck are you doing honey?"

To which the new bride replies,
"Warming up your supper!"